please don't let me forget this.

My son tucks his head into my shoulder, his arms wrap across my chest in a snug fit. I kiss his little head and the smooth spot between his earlobe and cheek, then just above his brow where heavy eyes near their dreams.

Warm under thick blankets, this perfect cuddle serves as a safe place for him, tucked in between mother and father, away from worries. This is where we want to be when our hearts are broken, when our dreams are slashed, when curve balls come our way and reality settles in. This too is the point I will want to return to when he gets too busy for me. This is a finite time, when I get to occupy so much of his consciousness. This moment is for me too.                                               

All the 39 weeks and 5 days of waiting, of long work hours and sore feet, missing out on caffeine and poached eggs, the pains of labour and the heartbreak of intensive care, this is what I had always hoped being a parent would feel like.

23/52.

 "a photo of Marley once a week, every week in 2013"

What's behind the big red door? Marley and his constant sense of curiosity leads him off on some great adventures. I love when he discovers something exciting, and he'll look back at me and point as if to say "look at what I've found mummy!"

20 ways you know you're a mum.

Tomorrow I will have been a mum officially for 51 weeks! It's a triumphant feeling (queue happy emotional mess) so in honour of this almost-milestone, here is a list of the niggles, the special, the frustrating, the beautiful ways I know I'm a mum.

1. A sleep-in is 7am, but even when this does happen, my body clock will still automatically wake me at 6am anyway.
   
2. Stories on the news get at my softie mama heart and my eyes well up with tears at anything above seven or below three on an emotional scale out of ten.
3. I'm no longer the best dressed person in the house. Full credit goes to my son and his gigantic wardrobe.
   
4. Each day starts and finishes with a cuddle. Is there anything better??
   
5. I don't recognise my boobs - true fact :(
   
6. I can have breakfast, a shower and makeup/hair in 15 minutes.
7. Today I baked a cake with one hand.
   
8. My stain removal skills are second to none. Except banana. I'm yet to conquer you.
   
9. Time seems to go so fast. Hey time, slow down alright?
   
10. Every day I sound more and more like my own mother. This is definitely a good thing.
    
11. I leave the house with an over-packed nappy bag but forget to take anything for myself. I have been known to drink water from a sippy cup because I refuse to pay $4 for bottled water.
    
12. Being proud of someone takes on a whole new meaning. Give me a messy finger painting over Picasso any day.
    
13. Even though I have 100 plastic containers, I can never find a lid. Please enlighten me if you know a solution to this?
    
14. Our coffee table is a write off, boo.
    
15. I finally, truly understand what unconditional means.
16. I have a conspiracy theory on JLo, seriously who has twins and looks that good at 43??
    
17. And here's my second conspiracy theory: what ever happened spontaneity? Does it still exist?
    
18. Push chair skills ranked level Wellington. I've been known to make it down 20+ stairs with a pushchair plus add-ons.
    
19. I know all the words to all the openings of kids cartoons that play in the morning. All of them.
    
20. Some days I think my heart might just explode because this motherhood gig is pretty darn good.

What about you? Did I miss anything??

snippets.

This week so far has been nothing out of the usual but here some things that I've been fond of in no particular order. Some even have pictures, iPhone pictures no less. We have kindly lent out my DSLR for someone who is off exploring tropical lands which is fine by me as the chief iPhoneographer of this family because hey, what's a blog for if not for iPhone pictures??

M and I had a pizza lunch date. You may be wondering if he is still in his pajamas, and you would be correct. What is better than pizza in your pajamas? On a side note, did you also notice how much he loves a good selfie? That grin is like no other.

According to MetService is was 10 degrees outside, which I felt was an acceptable temperature for a quick roar around the playground to kill off cabin fever. Of course, it felt more like 5 degrees, and our plans to head back home were stifled by the fact that my hands were so frozen I couldn't get the playground gate open. Marley on the other hand had a fantastic time.

This guy gets a new hair style every time he goes to sleep. While usually they tend to be leaning towards a mullet, on this particular morning we were treated to a little Alfalfa hair-do which made me smile every time I looked at it.

Marley would walk up and down our little lawn all day if I let him. He loves to zoom down towards my planter boxes, waving to me as he walks past while I lounge out on the picnic blanket. Once reaching said destination, he will give his best effort of grabbing a mouthful of dirt before I zoom in to grab him, take him down to the other end, and repeat.

I've never seen someone look so smug eating their afternoon tea fully dressed in the kitchen sink full of water. Someone else who was looking smug today was Tav who came home with the most giant pile of Golden Books I've ever seen in my life. He discovered an op shop hidden away in Thorndon "with the best selection of jewelery I've ever seen." In his excitement he bought the stores entire collection of Golden Books for Marley. Gee I love that guy.

On a side note, I've been browsing through my blog reading old posts and cringing at some of my bad photography that used to go down on the regular. It feels weird reading my own blog, but that's the main reason I keep it - to record my memories.

It's been one year since I started Sweet Pea Sylvie, and I still have no idea where I'm going with it. I reread the post I wrote about the things I'm learning about motherhood when Marley was barley 4 weeks old. I suddenly had one of those moments where I desperately wanted to go back in time so I could console the 4 week old mother me. I can just picture it, I would have written that post in my pajamas while Marley was snuggled into my chest having yet another feed which at that time were long and often frustrating because my let down was out of control. I would have stopped myself and opened the laptop and said, "LOOK at this!" I would have gestured toward it wildly with emphatic facial expressions and said, "look at this, Sylv! Everything turns out okay! It gets so much easier! This time next year your son will be sitting next to you on the couch happily eating a cracker in his fresh smelling pajamas and you would both watch Friends and laugh at Phoebe and Joey" and do you know what that would even do to a mother of a fresh newborn?

Snippets of this week are nothing out the ordinary, but still a lovely reminder to me of how far I've come.

mama knows.

Mama knows not to assume you have eaten all your food when your tray is clear, because often you'll stash it by your feet or discretely on the ground. Mama isn't sure if this is a sign that you want a pet dog, but I'd be inclined to agree. Mama also knows that you have no self restraint where crackers are concerned. 

Mama knows that when you are given the option to help with the dishes, your approach is to be submerged in the dish water fully clothed and waggle the dish-brush around in the air. We are working on that.

Mama knows that when you hear the sound of a helicopter you immediately want to go to the window to smush your face up on the glass and point at the red and yellow chopper in the sky. Mama is always amazed at you attentiveness, and she's still wondering how you ever figured out that noise in the first place.

Mama knows that blowing raspberries are only appropriate at certain times of the day when you aren't too tired or too cold or have a case of cabin-fever. Mama knows they are not to be performed without your permission.

Mama knows you love books, so she let's you keep them spread out on the floor even though mama finds it messy. Mama just loves watching you slowly turn the pages, tracing the illustrations with your little fingers.

Mama knows you have a dynamic taste in music from indie folk to early 90s rap. Your iconic dance move is to bounce, then nod your head, and then clap, always in that order. Mama thinks this is full credit to all the times she played dance central while she was pregnant.

22/52.

"a photo of Marley once a week, every week in 2013"

I remember the first time I took Marley out onto our little patch of lawn. It was the first sunny day in September and he laid on his back on our picnic blanket, kicking those chubby legs of his up to the sky. Now days, he's scootin' from one end to the other. Where did the time go?

my very own Andy Warhol moment and other weekend tales.

image via

So this happened. I managed to sneak away spontaneously on Saturday and spend an entire 2 hours roaming (childless) around a gallery entirely devoted to that genius, crazy man in Te Papa's newest exhibition Immortal Warhol. It managed to be enigmatic, creepy, inspiring and contradictory all in one go - exactly how I like my exhibitions.

Once in a lifetime opportunities call for extensive measures, so when I walked into a room filled with his Silver Clouds (silver helium balloons) and surrounded by his iconic 'pastoral' cow wallpaper, I knew the best way to view it was at ground level. I felt like a right dork lying on the floor but Andy would have loved it. I also did a screen test in his film room - I didn't quite pull off Edie Segwick but I'll take what I can get.

Click to see my Warhol screen test

The rest of the weekend revolved around food, like usual. Baked cheescakes, yum cha, giant pretzels and the like. I also curled my hair 3 days in a row, which is a personal record. Aunty Sonya graduated so we took Marley along to her Pasifika celebration and he learned how to clap a few speeches in - perfect timing. That guy just seems to soak everything in like a sponge these days. A good weekend if you ask me.

sunny side up.

Along with snow and frozen toes, a cold snap brings a sense of determination to book a holiday, and this week has certainly bitten me with the travel bug. It seems most of my favourite people are jetting off to someplace tropical and child-free for the long weekend, and with pops of colour all over my Pinterest feed, I'm thinking Samoa for Labour weekend would go down quite nicely.

Images via: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

---

And while I have found this autumn charmingly brisk, the prospect of a holiday suits me even better. For my readers with young children, how have you found holidaying abroad with the kiddies?  I'm not sure I could leave Marley behind, or maybe I'm more afraid that a child-free week spent sipping mojitios on the beach, I might never come back ;)

all you need.

Hand Knitted Socks available here & Harney and Sons Winter White Tea available here

---

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

A balmy seven degrees outside meant wool socks and endless cups of tea were my saving grace while I spruced up the blog these last few days. It seems this latest bout of cold weather brought my blogging mojo with it. These past few months I've spent more time unplugged from blogging, and the parameters between what you see here and what you see in real life have slowly but surely grown.

Finding your voice as a writer is so hard, but I'm learning now that not everything in life needs to be profound and poetic to be noteworthy. I identify with Beyonce and her booty-mama ways, while I also love to watch marathons of Gordon Ramsay Kitchen Nightmares on Netflix. Marley and I have dance parties to A$AP Rocky and then go thrift shopping in our track pants, that sort of thing. I was perfectly content with keeping this all to myself, thinking that you wouldn't be interested to hear about the normal stuff, but if this blog is going to survive the winter too, it's needs more Sylvie in it. Word.

P.S. What do you guys think of the new layout? 

culinary hibernation.

We woke up to a cold southerly this morning, like somebody kicked the door in and a bone chilling draft came out of nowhere. This kind of weather makes me crave rich wintery goodness in my belly, the kind that puts you in a food coma all day long. Light salad seems an insult to freezing fingers. In fact anything that doesn't involve butter or stock or rich tomato - go away, you peppy foods - don’t come back until I can feel my toes.

Of course, that heavy feeling post-Mount Everest (of lasagna) means climbing into a tangle of warm sheets for digestive purposes. It is simply

the best sensation on earth

and I’ve resolved to not limit going to bed to just once a day. It's an official winter necessity for our household over the next three months.

On a side note - I love this pan wall. Can I please get it in my kitchen now?

Picture via.

rugged up.

Currently I start every morning with an aspiration to be the epitome French cozy chic (true fact). It really is the best part about winter, cold weather brings out the the hidden mademoiselle in all of us. If you were to come over for a coffee, 99% of the time I would be rugged up in merino with a chunky scarf, uggs, and my favourite Levi's. With minimal make up and tousled hair, it's my best attempt to get that 'just thrown together' effortless look the French do so well. Perfecting the art of layering is a work in progress for me, but I've found it helps to start with a base of merino, layered up with a blouse, a jumper, then a coat and the chunkiest scarf I can find a la' Pinterest. Have you tried layering? What works best for you?

TOP | Me wearing Kate Sylvester merino & Moochi hooded scarf
BOTTOM | left, middle, right

21/52.

"a photo of Marley once a week, every week in 2013"

He tested out the sandpit for the first time this week. He was a little apprehensive about getting stuck in, choosing to sit on the edge instead. I love those little sand covered toes.

city pulse.

Living within ten minutes walk of hours of entertainment for a small child, we hardly venture far from our borough, leaving the bustling CBD to the men in suits. Every now and again we are sucked into the corporate Lambton Quay for errands, and the day usually finishes with an over-stimulated child and a serious case of pram rage. I do my best to avoid such situations (please remind me never to move to NYC), but today I awoke with an unusual case of spontaneity and drive to get my to-do list crossed off.

Well, the stars aligned for us on this particular Friday, and we set off on foot to make the trek into the concrete jungle. I had this ambitious plan to walk in, run errands along the Quay, dodge my way back to Te Papa for some much-needed museum wandering, then make the journey back home in time for M's afternoon nap. Energised by the hustle and bustle, my grandiose plan somehow came to culmination. As I carved my way through the footpath, Marley waved to passer-bys like a prince in his carriage (much to my amusement), and pointed to sky-high cranes building the Wellington skyline.

Stepping into Te Papa, New Zealand's cornerstone of creativity and history, we transported ourselves to Samoa, making music in the fale and exploring the feeling of the tapa cloth. Witnessing the process of discovery, seeing Marley explore his heritage with wonder, I make a mental note to come here more often. We are so lucky to have this amazing resource at our fingertips.

We reluctantly ventured back in the direction of home, skipping the afternoon nap in favour of stopping for slices of pizza in Courtney Place. We arrived back feeling tired, accomplished, inspired. It was one of those days where the wind was settled and the afternoon sun casted a shadow across the CBD. Every person, every building, every park bench, was a pulse beating in the rhythm of the city I love.

pantone playland.

My son, my darling gorgeous 11-month old son, is not an afternoon person. As we experience the two-naps-a-day to one-nap-a-day transition, 3pm has become a scary hour. Does he need a nap? Does he need a cracker? (Everything can be fixed with a cracker, I'm fairly certain of this fact.) Does he want to listen to some music? Watch TV? Yes? No?
When I think I'm not going to survive til 5.30pm I throw Marley in the push chair and escape to a nearby playground. My intrepid wanderer explores high and low, over and under, squealing with delight at the pantone plastic playland. Muddy knees and eating autumn leaves seems to be his 3pm fix, and just as serendipity would have it I stumble upon my sanity in the fresh air and my happiness in his beaming grin.  P.S. don't you just want to blow raspberries on that tummy?

happy meal.

The lovely Ida from Norway has given me a major case of food-spiration and I couldn't resist sharing it on here. This certainly qualifies for mum of the year material no?! For more, check out @idafrosk on Instagram.
All photo credits to Ida Frosk.

20/52.

"a photo of Marley once a week, every week in 2013"

If that isn't the face of mischief then I don't know what is.

sweet validation.

All is quiet while Marley takes his afternoon nap, and the house smells of goodness from today's baking escapades. I look out the window and see the sun peeking through the overcast sky, and I reflect on this week trying to comprehend the events of the past few days. In some ways I came full circle this week, and finally found sweet sweet validation in what I've worked for over the last 6 years. It's a good feeling I tell ya. There is a lot of hard work to come over the next few months but for now I'll enjoy my brioche-filled Saturday and enjoy that sugar-coated taste of achievement.

P.S. I'm doing a collaboration with Skinny Mobile on Living Skinny, read all the deets here.

happy mother's day.

I couldn't have asked for more on my first 'official' Mother's Day. I remember this time last year I was heavily pregnant, and I declared to Tav that carrying a baby for 8 months meant I was entitled to a giant pancake stack in bed. Though now, with almost a year of motherhood under my belt, I carry a new found respect for Mother's Day. It is such a privilege to share this day with so many other beautiful and inspiring mother's out there, including my own mother who is the best Mum I could ask for. Happy Mother's day ladies!

19/52.

"a photo of Marley once a week, every week in 2013"

The sun shone for all of about 10 minutes yesterday, just enough time to capture Marley day-dreaming in his world of bubbles.

anatomy of a rainy day.

I woke up this morning to a landscape of greys. Out our window lay foggy skies rolling in off the coast, hanging low to kiss the hills, and in the distance a wash of grey concrete buildings in the CBD peep through the cloud. Amidst my sleepy haze I snuggle my squirmy little chub of a baby having his bottle next to me in bed under heavy covers. I hear papa bear clanking around in the kitchen getting ready for his day.

As is the case on these dreary May days the rain never stops. Daddy leaves for work and the two of us are left make our way to the lounge to watch fat gray drops trickle down our window, perfectly hazed over for drawing love hearts in the condensation.

While it's stormy outside my cramped quarters are right cozy, and I can truly think of nothing better than a day spent playing with my baby and baking a loaf of bread. There's something healing about the rhythm of kneading warm dough, knowing that soon the house will smell of it's wholesome aroma. I get out the A-frame tent and we quickly set up camp inside with plenty of books and beeswax crayons which end up being eaten despite my best intentions. We bop our heads to melody's playing in the background and of course, we stay in our pajamas til midday.

On grey days like today you have to make your own sunshine. Fortunately, when it comes to sunshine, I think I've got it covered.

For those of you who are interested, here's my current rainy day playlist: 

Always Spring - I'm From Barcelona

 Something Good - altJ

1957 - Milo Greene

Play Again - The Broken Signals

Frivolous Life - YesYou

Blow Away - A Fine Frenzy

Time To Run - Lord Huron

Ghosts - Laura Marling

California - Delta Spirit

When the City Lights Dim - Cold Specks

Can't You Tell - Vetiver

Northern Sky - Mister and Missisippi

Natural Selection - UNKLE